I haven’t posted on Tumblr in a whileeeee lolol I wonder if anyone even still uses this…
As college is coming to a close and the end of this chapter of my life is nearing, I can’t help to reflect back on my experiences and ask myself, ‘was it all worth it?’ I’ve definitely had my fun; I think I can say I have experienced just about everything a college student should experience. But there were times when I felt like “fun” became an obligation. “Yolo” just turned into peer-pressure. “Friendship,” “love,” and “sisterhood” just turned into a huge burden on my personal goals in life. I see all my friends getting into their dream schools, or pursing after the things they are most passionate about, and I ask myself, ‘why couldn’t that be me?’ I envy that so much.
I always make this same mistake over and over again. I put way too much time and effort into people and organizations that don’t give me half as much as I put into it. And then my grades suffer. And then my parents give me shit. And then I begin to wonder how much more successful I would be if I had just focused on myself this entire time.
Maybe I’m just selfish. Maybe I’m just heartless. Or maybe I’m just not meant to revolve my life around other people. But I’m never gonna get myself into a life like this ever again. I can’t wait to just move away from everything and start getting my priorities straight. Gonna work my ass off for the next 4 years in pharmacy school, crawl into a cave if I really have to, and hopefully my parents can finally be proud of me one day.